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thanks 28. i haven't got time for another epistle :D but i must comment on a couple of things you said that i really agree with. We Can't. it helps to have this clear. i might argue with society's reason's why we can't, but there are still good reason's not to. i have child friends who can at times be very sexy and affectionate. i love them very dearly, and that is why i maintain clear boundaries with them. "Love means never having to say you're sorry." i had an experience many years ago, with a little girl friend who remains one of the great loves of my life. for a couple of years, apart from work and school, we spent almost all of our time together. our friendship was such that, had i allowed it, it could easily have become sexual. anyway, she went overseas, and i was devastated, then about three years later, when she was ten, she came back to visit. when we met up she gave me a big hug, and we just stood there squeezing each other. we were so excited to see one another. i had an overwhelming sense of gratitude that there weren't any secrets or undercurrents, and that i didn't have to wonder about things she might feel different about. it was such a powerful feeling at the time that it has become a very important lesson for me. for me, it was a validation of the substance of our friendship, and of my care for her. the most damning factor of all is the "Dirty Little Secret". exactly. as above. my guideline today is to act as if other adult's are around, even if they're not. |