I think...

...the use of "true" or "real" child lover is an effort to distinguish those pedo-erotic persons who would use coercion / manipulation / threats / force for their own advantage in their relationships with a child (whether that be a sexual relationship or not) from those pedo-erotic persons who would not do so. To me, it has nothing to do with how one expresses their love for children, or whether they are sexually abstinent / sexually active with a child, or even whether they obey AoC laws. It has everything to do with how much respect the child lover shows for the child. zlurker